5 Steps on how to handle a demanding child

I got a question from a parent. “My child gets stubborn. She cries for small things and gets things done. Not sure, how to handle”.

Research says that the average toddler makes three demands per minute. You are not alone in this journey. And there is nothing wrong with the child. This is a basic human behaviour found and observed all over the world.

However, here are the 5 steps to handle a demanding child.

Step 1 – Creating a Perspective

I invite the parents to look at it from a different perspective. While the baby is seen as stubborn, she may be persistent and focused on what she wants. That’s a great skill to have in life! First, acknowledge their persistence.

Step 2 – Bringing up a new skill in you.

Of course, it takes greater skills from parents to deal with it.
You need to be someone who is firm, creative, provide more listening and not to forget, be truthful and consistent.

Step 3 – Respond smoothly.

Now that you sorted your mindset of how to be and how to listen, base your response on how your child is asking.

If your child is asking in a smoother way, praise them for their good manners.

If your child is demanding, let your child know that it doesn’t work that way. You can also say,
“Can you ask quietly and smoothly?”
“Can you ask me more pleasantly please?”
“Is there any other way you can ask that?”

Step 4 – Pause and Listen.

Pause for a moment, listen for them. Take a moment to understand what your child is asking for. Show that you’ve heard and understood – with this, your kid will be more likely to accept your response.

Eg: “Oh, you love the ice cream? How cool?”

Step 5 – Now share your concern.

Tell them the impact and not just tell them, ask questions about it. So that it registers in their mind. Eg:
1) So what happens if you eat ice cream now?
2) When is the right time to eat ice cream?
3) Why is this not the right time to eat ice cream?